Sometimes, being on Pinterest makes me despair for the entire human race.
I pretty much blame it all on you, Insta Pinner.
You know who you are. You see an image and repin it immediately, because it's just so cute!!!! Who cares about actually following the link or *gasp* reading the caption? You don't think about plausibility, let alone change the description when you repin. Who has time for that? Certainly not you.
The result? A firm knowledge that Pinterest makes it way too easy to determine someone's intellectual level. (And not in a good way.)
A personal example, if I may. (Yes, I, too, have been affected by the rampant spread of Insta Pinners.) My sister Carrie repinned a pin linking to my post making fun of the exact picture in the post. The caption read, "Dispinterest: Maternity Photos Edition."
It was repined 189 times with 89 likes.
At first, I was super excited that people shared my same sense of humor and wanted to make fun of the same things I did--until I noticed what boards people had them pinned to.
"For future babies"
"cute stuff"
"baby"
"Maternity photo ideas"
"soooo adorable"
"photo ideas"
On and on and on. Wowwww.
Sadly, it happens to me allll the time. I have a board that I pin ridiculous things to, and some of them get repinned so often it makes me lose hope. And, of course, most of them don't bother to change the caption. Well, joke's on you, Mrs. "Future wedding cake" Board, for repinning that disgusting watermelon "cake" without changing the caption.
On that note, today's DisPinterest is dedicated to a special strain of Insta Pinners that repin ridiculously impossible and obviously Photoshopped pins.
Enjoy.
"How To Make Fairies In A Jar This is something everyone will love you can just imagine the look on your childs face when they see this and its something they will never forget so its worth a little work on this one."
"This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste."
Oh look! It's ANOTHER moon melon that looks EXACTLY like the "original" moon melon, only it's purple!!!
BUSTED.
As if you needed more proof than just common sense...yet unbelievably, people repin this thing all over tarnation. I don't understand it.
"The Rainbow Owl is a rare species of owl found in hardwood forests in the western United States and parts of China. Recent research concerning Rainbow Owls also suggests that they are responsive to music and attracted to human singing. A leading Rainbow Owl research team from the University of Montana in Missoula has earned the nickname "The Disco Squad" for their creative use of disco music in the field."
I won't say much about this pin, but here is a post about someone who tried it.
Also, this comment from that post literally made me laugh out loud:
My thoughts precisely, The Sauls Family. My thoughts precisely.
I pretty much blame it all on you, Insta Pinner.
You know who you are. You see an image and repin it immediately, because it's just so cute!!!! Who cares about actually following the link or *gasp* reading the caption? You don't think about plausibility, let alone change the description when you repin. Who has time for that? Certainly not you.
The result? A firm knowledge that Pinterest makes it way too easy to determine someone's intellectual level. (And not in a good way.)
A personal example, if I may. (Yes, I, too, have been affected by the rampant spread of Insta Pinners.) My sister Carrie repinned a pin linking to my post making fun of the exact picture in the post. The caption read, "Dispinterest: Maternity Photos Edition."
It was repined 189 times with 89 likes.
At first, I was super excited that people shared my same sense of humor and wanted to make fun of the same things I did--until I noticed what boards people had them pinned to.
"For future babies"
"cute stuff"
"baby"
"Maternity photo ideas"
"soooo adorable"
"photo ideas"
On and on and on. Wowwww.
Sadly, it happens to me allll the time. I have a board that I pin ridiculous things to, and some of them get repinned so often it makes me lose hope. And, of course, most of them don't bother to change the caption. Well, joke's on you, Mrs. "Future wedding cake" Board, for repinning that disgusting watermelon "cake" without changing the caption.
On that note, today's DisPinterest is dedicated to a special strain of Insta Pinners that repin ridiculously impossible and obviously Photoshopped pins.
Enjoy.
(Remember what I said about being able to determine someone's intelligence level?
Repinning photoshopped image + horrible run on sentences + misspellings galore = NOT GOOD.)
I'm sorry if you've fallen for this at some point in your Pinterest career. Hopefully most of you already know by now that it is completely, 100% photoshopped.
You cannot get this by putting a glow stick and glitter in the ever-loved Mason jar and shaking. No matter how good your mad shaking skills are, it will never, ever turn into this.
In fact, it's probably more likely that it will turn into actual, real life fairies in a jar.
If you want proof, here's a post written by a woman who bravely attempted this mess of a pin.
Oh look! It's ANOTHER moon melon that looks EXACTLY like the "original" moon melon, only it's purple!!!
BUSTED.
As if you needed more proof than just common sense...yet unbelievably, people repin this thing all over tarnation. I don't understand it.
This just killlllls me.
If you haven't been around the internet to know that it's clearly a photoshop job, I believe it is your duty to kick yourself off of the internet.
And possibly out of the gene pool, as well.
And, AND--not only is it a photoshop job, it is one of the glaringly WORST photoshops I've ever seen. The spray-paint pink brush strokes around the eyes, the absurd colors...yikes.
The humble Barred Owl, which looks SUSPICIOUSly like the Disco Rainbow Owl.
Maybe there's another explanation: the Disco Rainbow Owl IS real--it's just the Barred Owl's weird, cross-dressing cousin. I'll let you decide.
"Dandelion on fire. Bucket list for this summer... light a dandelion on fire! >:)"
Also, this comment from that post literally made me laugh out loud:
"I want to know who's life is so awful that setting a dandelion on fire is on their "bucket list"!"
My thoughts precisely, The Sauls Family. My thoughts precisely.
"Great idea for summer! Let oranges or lemons soak in food coloring..."
If I've taught you anything, little Paduan learners, I hope I've taught you to question crafts that look too good to be true.
That's because they always are.
You CAN dye lemons, but they won't look like this. They will look like this:
Gross.
Just so you know, citrus fruit doesn't dye well because parts of the fruit (like the membranes and skin) are pretty impermeable.
But bless your little crafty heart for thinking you could improve upon nature!
Want an easier way to dye lemons for next time? Come here. I'll tell you a secret.
A little closer...
Closer...
I'll give you a hint: it's what the original pinner did, and it worked like a charm...
That's right...
Photoshop them.
Admit it, you fell for that one.
I hope that you have learned to be more cautious about "too good to be true" pins on Pinterest. Now internalize this excellent advice:
and go out there, read captions, check sources, and be a classy (not klassy) Pinner! With our powers combined, we can eradicate stupidity from Pinterest all together, and make it a better (and safer) place for our children.
Yes we CAN!
As always, if you have a crappy pin you'd like to send my way, you can email it to me at DisPinterest (at) me (dot) com.
Also, you may want to check out my other DisPinterest posts here.
Also also, if you don't pin this to Pinterest then all of your children will die and your hair will fall out. Forget what I just told you about not being gullible, look deep into my eyes (metaphorically speaking, of course), and pin this to Pinterest. You can help save countless other Pinners, wandering in the misty darkness of Pinterest Hell.
