Camping WILL Be Fun...Or Else

 I have always had a love/hate relationship with camping.  It always sounds so fun...until you wake up in the morning with your nose freezing off of your face and five pointy rocks poking you in the spine.  But I am determined to go and to love it.  My dear "cousen" Stephanie and her husband Mark are going to accompany us (or better said, we are going to accompany them) on a four-day camping excursion to Zion National Park.

We leave on Saturday and our first stop will be at Calf Creek Falls, which Mark assures me is only a half hour hike to the top.  Hiking does not like me.  But I will does look beautiful.

From there, we're driving down through the beautiful Bryce canyon on our way to Zion, where we'll spend the rest of our trip.  At Bryce we'll stop and take a day hike up among the rocks, and frolic in general.

After that is where it turns from pleasurable vacation to menacing torture...well, for people that hate hikes, anyway.  Oh, wait...that's only me.  Yup.  I will be the straggler hacking up a lung and holding up the group while I stagger up the mountain and wish I was dead.  I've tried to warn them, but I really don't think they know what they're getting into when they asked me to go hiking with them.  They shall soon see...

So, we're doing a lot of hikes in Zion.  And by a lot, I mean two.  Angel's Landing and the dreaded Subway.

Angel's Landing...oh yeah, that's the scary 5-mile hike with the CHAINS IN THE MOUNTAIN YOU HOLD ON TO SO YOU DON'T FALL OFF THE CLIFF!!!! Does ANYONE remember I am scared of heights?  Not only will I be exhausted, dehydrated, and practically immobilized, I will probably hallucinate myself right off of that cliff. 
All for...this view?  Hmmf.  It MIGHT be worth it.

Next up...The Subway.  If we can get a permit; we're still not sure if we'll be able to.  I say, if God really loves me, He won't let us get a permit. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.   Doesn't He want me to live? Does he know I very well may end up a vegetable at the end of this?

Anyways, it's a 9 1/2 mile hike.  Actually, we're not going to call it a hike.  We're going to call it a 9 1/2 mile Obstacle Course.  Why, you ask? Because you have to hike over, under, and through rocks, rappel (rapPEL? Scared of heights?  AHHHHHHHHHH!), and swim through freezing cold pools of water.  This does not sound like a leisure activity; this sounds like a punishment for inmates.  Nevertheless, Tim is under some weird impression that we will go and actually enjoy ourselves.  We shall see.

Tim, if I die, make sure I'm buried in Driggs and that I have a decent memorial service involving lots of good things said about me.  You can lie if you want.  Just sayin'.


  1. ooohhh man, i hate to hike. if you want to avoid the whole thing, i'll kidnap you for the weekend and take you shopping instead.

  2. oh, and... IF you do actually die, i'll make really pretty cupcakes for the party we throw in your honor.

  3. I'll say nice things about you at the memorial. And, if you like, I'll be the one to tell Tim "See, she told you so!"

    Best of luck. I'm with you on the heights issue. Just remind yourself to breathe. I really hope you survive. And if you do, I expect beautiful pictures.

  4. Angel's Landing is awesome! It will be a fun hike! Good luck with the camping. By the way, if you ever want to camp up Yellowstone way, we would love to go with you guys!

  5. does no one work anymore? when I got a job, I was under the impression I was finally becoming a normal person, like everyone worked, but it turns out it's just me and Nikki, and I'm mad that life played that trick on me. I want to be free again. free to make an insane choice like going on a camping trip with a mountain man like Mark and his wilderness wife Stephanie.

    Look how close my confirmation word is to "Unicorn:"

  6. Hayley, I agree. Who in the world has time to take a four day trip? Maybe next summer I will. I guess we're the only ones with real jobs. I don't even have time to blog.

    Monte and I really want to go camping with everyone! But just for one night...that's all we have time for.

    I hope you don't die, Dani. I vowed a long time ago that I would never do the Subway. Water scares me too much. And I'm slightly claustrophobic.

  7. the views are worth it. take lots and lots of pictures so i don´t have to go. :D


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